


I'm Sorry

by Idontcare1835



Series: I'm Sorry [1]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Depression, F/M, Letters, suicidal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 2,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25174477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idontcare1835/pseuds/Idontcare1835
Summary: Set in season two after Bughead breaks up. Trigger WarningBetty has done things she's not proud of, and she was cracked before the black hood, but now she's not just cracked, now she's broken.
Relationships: Archie Andrews/Veronica Lodge, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones
Series: I'm Sorry [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1823770
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	1. Alone

\--Betty P.O.V.--

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I wrapped my arms around my waist. Faint sobs echoed through my room, even though I tried to muffle it. I was sitting on my bed, my parents are ignoring me because of the whole outing mum's south side background. Veronica hates me because of what I said, and I can't blame her. I would hate me too, in fact, I do. I'm so weak, I wish I could be strong, but I can't. If I was stronger then I wouldn't let the black hood dictate my life. I glance around my room, I felt like I was suffocating.

As quietly as I can, I leave the house, trying not to disturb my parents. I know I look like a mess, my eyes had to be red and puffy both old and new tears on my cheeks, I hadn't been able to stop crying. I cried myself to sleep last night, and even then I could only get a few hours of sleep before I woke up from nightmares. Once my feet hit the pavement outside my house I start running, I don't know where to, I just let my feet guide me. It's not like I was running to anywhere anyway, nope just trying to run away from everything I've done.

I must be sick, is that what people think when they look at me? That I'm a monster hidden in angel clothing? After all, I inspired a serial killer, my speech convinced someone to go around killing people, so what does that say about me? What kind of sick people inspire killers? Was I really that bad? That the people I care about the most, believed so easily that I hated them?

But then I probably deserved this, after all, it's my fault that all this happened, that Mr Andrews and Moose was shot, that Mrs Grundy died. I might as well be a murderer. If it wasn't for that stupid speech I just had to say, none of this would have happened.

Another chocked sob left my lips, and I had to stop as my lungs burned from lack of oxygen. I glance around at my surroundings, only to see that I was at Pops. I small smile covered my lips as the sight of the dinner. But the smile instantly turns into a frown, another sob racks through me. Memories come back, of meeting Veronica and Kevin for the first time, of smoothies with mum and Polly after ballet. Some of my best memories are in that shop, it was our place and now I went and ruined it.

I turn to leave, but my eyes finally notice the people in the dinner. There was Jughead and another wave off sadness washed over me just at the sight of him. He looked so happy. In front of him was a girl, she was beautiful. More than I could ever be. The tears came back tenfold, he was already with someone else. I guess I really don't matter. Of course, what did I expect I'm just a nobody, that no one likes but everyone tolerates. By the time I turned around, away from the dinner, my vision was blurry from my tears. Reaching up, I wipe the tears away. I'm such an idiot, to think I could hurt everyone and then just expect them to forgive me without a moment's notice.

I start running again, each step becoming more desperate than the last. I must have looked like a mad man as I ran back home, but I didn't care, I just had to get home, I have to fix this. I have to make up for my sins. Maybe, just maybe if I do this, he'll stop. But I can't pretend to be doing this to stop him, I'm just getting what I deserve, death.

Completely forgetting about being silent I tear into my house, dashing up to my room, grabbing pieces of paper and a pen. I stop sitting in my desk, my pen hovering over the first piece of paper, I took a deep breath before I started writing.


	2. Jughead

Dear Jughead,

I'm so so sorry. I'm sorry for putting you in danger, I'm sorry for getting Archie to do something that I should have done. But I just couldn't do it, I couldn't face you. I couldn't see the pain, shock and betrayal that you would surely feel. It killed me, just to ask Archie to do it. But I ~~want~~ , need you to know that I love you, Jughead Jones. Nothing will ever change that, I love you more than life itself, and I'm so sorry that I hurt you.

This probably won't make much sense, ~~but I'd rather live in a world where you hate me, then a world without you I did this for you, to protect you~~. Because loving me put you in harm's way and I'd rather die than let that happen again. And I'm sorry, just so very sorry and I hope you can forgive me, for what I've done and for what I'm about to do.

Though it kills me to write this, just promise me that you'll stop loving me ~~so he won't go after you~~ because I'm just broken and you're the definition of perfect, and it doesn't matter whether you're a serpent or not, ~~I'll always love you~~ you'll always be perfect in my eyes. I'm just a broken nobody, so please stop loving me, and find someone else who deserves your love, ~~because I don't~~.

I wish that I had taken you up on your offer, to escape Riverdale, to be Romeo and Juliet but with a happy ending. ~~We could've lived in the sewers for all I cared, as long as I was with you~~. But then you would've been in even more danger.

Anyway it doesn't matter, what's done is done, but just don't change, unless it's to stop loving a useless nobody like me, then by all means change.

\- Love Elizabeth Cooper


	3. Archie

Dear Archie,

I'm sorry for forcing you to lie to your girlfriend and dragging you into my mess. But thank you for standing by me, for giving me support, and not leaving me. You've been my best friend since forever. ~~In a way you're like my brother, always protecting me.~~ Thank you so much for understanding everything with the black hood, and I'm so sorry about your dad. After all, it's my fault that he was shot. If I didn't write that stupid speech, I wouldn't have inspired him ~~and I don't expect you to forgive me~~ but I'm sorry, so from the bottom of my heart I am so so sorry.

You need to stay strong though, for me, for everyone else. You were my rock, for everything that happened, ~~from the black hood to what happened to Polly and e~~ Even though we've drifted apart lately I still consider you one of my best friends. Don't change your kind heart, that's willing to help anyone. Even me, even if I didn't deserve any of it, the girl who couldn't even say no to her mother.

Keep following your dreams, and don't let anyone stop you.

\- Love Elizabeth Cooper


	4. Veronica

Dear Veronica,

What can I say, you are my best friend. You never judged me and was always right by my side and I'm so sorry about what I said. I never meant anything I said, I just had to push you away ~~so he wouldn't go after you~~ , so would you stay away from me. But just know that I meant none of it, you are nothing like your father and your one of the best and nicest people I know.

But I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you died because of me, ~~I can barely live with myself because I hurt you.~~ Though I have to ask, am I really that bad a person, that it wasn't a surprise that I did say that? Is that really what people think of me? ~~Cause that's what I think.~~ And, I'm just so so sorry, I'll never be able to make it up to you, but maybe this will make up for it, now you won't have to be friends with a disappointment like me.

\- Love Elizabeth Cooper

P.S. You will always be the v to my b.


	5. Kevin

Dear Kevin,

You are my best friend alongside Veronica. When Archie and I drifted apart, you were there to help me ~~and defend me~~. You are the one person I can always go to for help, especially relationship advice. And as cliche, as it sounds you are my gay best friend.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry that pushed you to the side lately, ~~I'm sorry for making you hate me~~ and I'm sorry for telling your father about you cruising the woods, I was just so worried about you, I would have never been able to forgive myself if you got hurt because I did nothing.

You deserve to be happy Kev, so I hope you find someone perfect for you, and just to know that I might not understand what it's like to be gay, but I do support you, even if you don't believe it. I will always support you.

\- Love Elizabeth Cooper


	6. Polly

Dear Polly,

I'm sorry that I'll never be able to meet the twins, but I'm sure they'll be as beautiful as their mother. I love you, Polly, you were my best friend when we were kids. ~~I'm sorry for leaving you with dealing with mum and dad.~~

I missed you, and I was the fiercest protector when mum lied about you being crazy, ~~though I didn't do a good job~~ , I never believed what mum was saying. But I did miss you fiercely, I'm just sorry that I wasn't trusted with your plan or your pregnancy. Over the past few years we've grown apart, and that is one of my biggest regrets, that I and you aren't as close as we used to be. ~~But I guess nobody would want to know me.~~

I hope the best for your twins, I'll never meet them but I already love them fiercely.

\- Love Elizabeth Cooper. 


	7. Mum

Dear Mum,

You never understood me, always trying to make me the perfect child. Maybe that's why Polly rebelled so much because you always tried to control her life. You were supposed to protect me, say that I could do no wrong, instead you were my biggest critic. If I did one thing wrong, you would be on my case. I have to say, I didn't write the cipher, the black hood told me that he was inspired by my speech. ~~I never told you because I knew you would hate me, say that the people I care about the most are responsible for turning me.~~

And even though most days I wanted to strange you, I still love you. You're my mum, I'll always love you. I'm sorry for outing your serpent background, but I was just so annoyed at you, I needed you to feel as sad and embarrassed as I did when you suggested that I wrote the cipher, those southside people that you attack on a daily bases. ~~And the only thing you love is your newspaper. Don't worry, I wouldn't love me either.~~

\- Love Elizabeth Cooper


	8. Dad

Dear Dad,

I'm sorry for failing as a daughter, ~~and for being a disappointment,~~ but I love you, dad.

If it's not too much to ask for, and I know about all the bad blood between us and the blossoms, but their family and Cheryl needs people to lean on so could you possibly repair the rift in our families? Maybe Polly will feel more comfortable and she wouldn't have moved in with the blossoms if we were close, so please close the rift between our families.

\- Love Elizabeth Cooper


	9. Pops

Dear Pops, 

Thank you for always having a place for me at your dinner, for providing a place for me when I had nowhere else to go. ~~For providing me with a second home.~~ And it's because of this, that I couldn't... leave without saying goodbye to you and to thank you. 

Don't change kay? Everyone loves your dinner, so don't let anyone close you down, because I don't care what anybody else says, Pop's dinner should be a landmark.

\- Love Elizabeth Copper

P.S. Can you give my friends and family a free milkshake on me?


	10. Mr Andrews

Dear Mr Andrews, 

I know it may not seem like it, but to me, your like a second father which is why I'm writing to you. I don't really know what to say ~~but thank you for always being there for me, and~~ I'm sorry for everything that my mum has done. 

\- Love Elizabeth Cooper


	11. Cheryl

Dear Cheryl,

I know that we were never close, hell you probably hate me. But I do want to say that I'm sorry for everything that I have done to you, ~~from the blackmailing to talking behind your back.~~ I would also like to say that I forgive you for everything, ~~and I hope we can be friends.~~

I asked my dad to repair things with your family, and I was hoping you would help him, granted he makes the first move. Though you'll probably do the exact opposite just to spite me. 

\- Love Elizabeth Cooper

P.S. I love you Cus.


	12. Blackhood

Dear the coward calling himself the black hood,

I'm not writing this because I think of us as friends or anything. I'm writing this to let you know that I hate you, and if anyone needs to be wiped clean of their sins, it would be you. I don't know who you really are, but I hope you're happy with yourself because it's time for me to pay for my sins. 

\- With lots of hate, Elizabeth Cooper

P.S. Rot in hell you bastard. 


	13. Death

\--Betty P.O.V.--

Finally, the letters were gone, place where they are sure to be found. The bottle of pills gripped tightly in my hand, the edge pressing into my palm. A pocket knife, the same one my dad gave to me, heavy in my pocket, as I make my way top to the sweet water swimming hole. I haven't been here forever, me, Juggie and Archie used to come here every day in summer. Well, that was until we got attacked by leeches and we haven't been there since. I chuckle slightly, wishing that I could actually go back to those days. My smile turns into a frown as I remember my friends, well ex-friends now. But who can blame them, who would want to stick around me?

Yet another tear trickles down my cheek as a broken sob escapes my lips. I blink slightly, realising that I had stopped. I slow the sadness as best as I can before I force myself to keep walking, reminding myself that I was doing everyone a favour, that no one wanted me. It takes a couple more minutes to get to my destination. The sweet water swimming hole, looking exactly the same as it was all those years ago. I sob quietly as I sink to my knees, the water gently lapping at my knees.

Why was I such a disappointment? Even my only family hates me, maybe the hood's right. No, he is, I Elizabeth Cooper am a monster. Which is why I have to do this, why I have to die. So everyone else can live a peaceful life, without me, none of this would have happened. It's my fault that Miss Grundy is dead, I'm a murderer. They should have left earlier, I should have noticed, I was holding them back, dragging them down like a dead weight. Well no longer, they'll finally be able to be free of me. 

Slowly I twist the lid off of the bottle of pills. I tip the remaining pills into my hand. Another tear slips down my cheek until I'm full-on sobbing. This for everyone, so everyone can be happy without me raining on their parade, I think before I take a pill and swallow it. And another, and another until all the pills are gone, and my vision starts to become blurry. With shaking fingers I grab my pocket knife and pull it out of my pocket. The words Happy Birthday Betty was carved into the handle. More tears come at the sight of it, the knife itself is a painful reminder of when I wasn't such a disappointment.

Blood slowly trickles down my arm as I cut a deep straight line, from my wrist near to my elbow. I do the same one the other arm. My vision swarms and I collapse to the ground, the cold water of sweet water swimming hole making my numb body even number. There was no pain, just emptiness. A small smile covered my lips because now, everyone can be happy, now no one has to fake being friends with me, they can finally be free.

"Goodbye," My voice comes out as a whisper and faint, and it's the last thing I register before the darkness envelops me.

_I'm Sorry_


End file.
